Talking to your teenager daughter about periods is a huge milestone as a mother.
Personally, my experience of my first period was awful.
I knew a little about puberty from my teachers and my fellow students, but my mom told me nothing.
Period panic
When I saw blood on my pants, I knew what it was but I panicked.
I didn't tell anyone. I stole some pads from a friend’s locker at school and tried to use them, but I didn't know how and ended up sticking the pad on myself!
And this really messed me up; I panicked more and faked a headache so I would miss school the following day.
Talking about periods to your daughter can be awkward and uncomfortable depending on your background.
I am now sure my mother didn't know how to handle the topic and so it was always kept a secret like it was an embarrassment.
But being a mother of girls, I looked forward to having a different experience with my already teenage daughter and my pre-teen.
Eliminate the drama around puberty and period talk
I started talking to my daughters about periods the day they saw pads and tampons in my bathroom.
My eldest was only eight then.
One point I stressed was that getting your period was a good thing and that it was nothing to be scared or embarrassed about.
So here are my top tips for you if you're getting ready to have the talk with your daughter.
Talking to your teenager daughter about periods
- Shying away from period conversations communicates to your daughter that they're taboo and that everything should be kept secret. Be open and honest and normalise the female anatomy.
- Keep your body language, facial expressions and voice calm. Mastering this art will help your daughter to relax and feel comfortable opening what to you.
- Let your child know that it does not hurt even though it involves blood.
- Using proper terms for your body is important so that your daughter feels empowered.
Make it normal
Puberty comes with many body changes, some which are physical and some which aren't.
We chatted to my teenage daughter about puberty when I noticed her breasts had grown and that she'd gotten taller.
I reminded her that almost half the population had periods and that I was looking forward to her first period.
We laughed about it and my daughter became less anxious.
Expert knowledge
My main concern when it came to the topic of periods was that I'm not an expert, and that I might say something wrong.
To solve this, I decided to stay curious and to learn alongside my teenage daughter.
I would ask things like: “Have you seen your friends carry pads at school?”
This would open up a whole new conversation and I could then step in and teach her what I knew.
And this is what I learned:
- Avoid lectures: Going to your daughter’s room with a pre-arranged speech about puberty and periods may freak her out and yield very little response.
- Trust yourself: You can be a great resource to your child about puberty and period education and you can supplement your personal knowledge with some research if there's something you don't know.
- Talk periods products: Discuss tampons, pads and menstrual cups and let your daughter try them out and choose what she feels most comfortable with.
- Share your experience: Sharing my experience with my daughter brought us closer. She threw her hands around my neck and said ‘Thanks Mom’.
A point to consider
Should our boys be taught about periods?
The answer is YES.
Early education for our men about periods makes them caring and responsible fathers, sons, brothers and friends.