In this article we'll discuss 5 signs of mom burnout and what to do to remedy it.
There is a picture passed to us by our mothers and grandmothers that says we should be super moms.
One who is able to do a thousand things at the same time, never gets tired, does not complain, and should not fail.
Unfortunately, they were exhausted and would have loved a way out.
Running on empty
Mom burnout is when a mother is simply exhausted and running on empty, having given all to her loving family.
Mom burnout applies to both stay-at-home and working moms.
You may confuse postpartum depression for mom burnout, but they are not the same thing.
5 signs of mom burnout and what to do
Here are some tell-tale signs of mom burnout.
- Being irritable: You are irritated with normal duties like wiping your toddler after pooping or them calling you for the hundredth time. You are irritated by the noise of them fighting or even playing.
- Screaming at your children: At one time, I was experiencing mom burnout and I found myself screaming at my two first daughters. I screamed at them if they didn’t hear me when I called at first, and I screamed at them when they cried for no reason.
- Having escape fantasies: You often fantasize about getting onto a bus and never coming back, or going away on a long trip so that people around you will see your worth.
- Losing control of emotions: I often found myself yelling at the gas cooker for burning my onions, having outbursts at other people in the house, or being emotionally distant from my children.
- Feelings of inadequacy as a mother: There are moments of guilt and shame over how you are treating your children and everyone around you.
- Loss of joy: As a working mom, you aren't happy that you are away from your children, and as a stay-at-home mom, you are not happy that you aren’t away working to provide for your children.
Unfortunately, mom burnout is not taken seriously by many people because they believe it's your role and you have no right to complain.
Remedies
Solving mom burnout issues takes discipline, some self-love, and very deliberate steps from you as a mom.
The following are some of the steps I took to solve it:
- Change your motherhood mindset: I realized I had inherited harmful messages and pictures about motherhood and had internalized them unknowingly. They included the duties of a mom, like running errands, making sure the house is clean, making supper on time, and being there for your husband with full energy. The truth is that this standard is unrealistic, and any mom trying to attain it will definitely fail. I decided to create my own mindset about motherhood that does not have a set bar to achieve.
- Let go of perfectionism: I decided to silence the many "musts" that haunted me. I took down the mental picture of a perfect mother and decided to be "a good enough mom." This is because there is never a perfect mother, and comparing yourself to other moms will do you more harm than good. It's important to accept that there will always be people who are better than you.
- Set boundaries: I realized people will always have something to say about how you should run your home and family. As much as some comments may add value to your lives, most may not, and they may end up dictating what is to be done. Setting boundaries about what people expect of you and what they can tell you to do is important.
- Prioritize and lighten your parental load: This can be done by listing your daily or weekly duties. Examine what must be done solely by you. Delegate other duties to people around you. You may also consider paying a helper to ease your load.
- Self-care: Remember to set aside time for self-care; take it as a right and not a privilege.
Healthy habits
Taking a little pause from your daily routine as a mom is the beginning of a healthy relationship with your loved ones.