Village (n): a community of people smaller than a town.
Much of its meaning revolves around rural life where our ancestors had to band together to survive oppression and hardships.
Welcome urbanization and modernization!
We boast of upgrades to our way of life that include high rise buildings, security cameras and walls high enough to keep us “safe”.
But on the other side of these concrete slabs and cold, steel handrails, we’ve got growing loneliness and frustrated parents, many of whom are going it alone.
Our parents are still out in the workforce. Family members may be estranged. Our friends are choosing their careers over starting families.
Whether we’re ready to admit it or not, many of us don’t have a safe group of people to rely on to help us raise our children.
5 questions to ask when redefining 'the village'
Here are 5 questions to ask when redefining “the village”:
- What does support really look like to me? Thinking back on the hardships I endured, this varied. Often, I needed financial support while I worked to get on my feet. Other times (and I didn’t give myself room to admit it), I needed a break from the overwhelming task list of being mommy. A few hours to myself to just exist or maybe stroll the aisles of a grocery without a toddler and baby bag in tow.
- Who do I need to surround myself with? I became a mother before my friends and the struggle to connect and identify with changing life experiences is real! For others, maybe the circles we have aren’t healthy - physically, mentally, emotionally. Think about and lovingly accept whatever you need to be okay.
- Who else shares my struggles? Be careful with this one! Going from a space where no one gets it to one where everyone is going through the same thing can be sneaky and a way of unintentionally staying trapped. It’s important, however, to be seen, understood and validated in our experiences. A forum such as this is a perfect start!
- Am I ready and willing to make the necessary changes for something new? Phew! Being both ready and willing takes courageous effort! This is where I got stuck a lot. It meant letting go of old habits as well as people that were no longer aligned and didn’t try to evolve with me.
- Who can help pick me up when I fall down or fall short? Even the most self-reliant of us deserve to have someone in our corner to let us stay in hippo state and gently remind us of our strength so we can get back on our feet faster.
Opening the door to new opportunities
There’s no handbook currently available, or maybe we’re writing it in real-time to share with the mothers and mothers-to-be.
Cheers to venturing beyond our cozy inside surroundings.
May we open a door (or even a window) to new opportunities that will heal us and recreate our village!