How to practice self-compassion and forgiveness as a mom. First thing's first; it's OK to make mistakes!
Being a mom is not easy. You have to juggle multiple roles, responsibilities, and expectations, while also taking care of yourself and your family.
You may often feel overwhelmed, stressed, or guilty about not doing enough or doing something wrong. You may also compare yourself to other moms who seem to have it all together, and wonder why you can't be like them.
But guess what? You are not alone. Every mom makes mistakes, and no one is perfect.
I can definitely admit that I have had to, at times, apologize to my toddler for loosing my cool during high stress moments. I have also had to let go of the day and intentionally say, “tomorrow is a new day, I can reset, I'm still a good mom.”
Even the moms who appear to have it all figured out have their own struggles and challenges. The difference is how they deal with their mistakes and how they treat themselves.
How to practice self-compassion and forgiveness as a mom
Instead of beating yourself up for your mistakes, you can learn to practice self-compassion and forgiveness.
Self-compassion is the ability to be kind, understanding, and supportive of yourself, especially when you are suffering or feeling inadequate.
Forgiveness is the ability to let go of resentment, anger, or blame, and move on with a positive attitude.
Here are some benefits of practicing self-compassion and forgiveness:
- You will feel happier and more satisfied with your life: Research has shown that self-compassion and forgiveness are linked to higher levels of wellbeing, happiness, optimism, and gratitude.
- You will have better mental and physical health: Studies have found that self-compassion and forgiveness can reduce stress, anxiety, depression, and chronic pain, and improve immune system functioning, sleep quality, and self-care behaviors.
- You will have stronger relationships with your family and friends: By being more compassionate and forgiving of yourself, you will also be more compassionate and forgiving of others. You will be able to empathize, communicate, and resolve conflicts more effectively, and create a more loving and supportive environment for yourself and your loved ones.
Tips to get you started
So how can you practice self-compassion and forgiveness? Here are some tips to get you started:
- Recognize that you are human, and that making mistakes is part of being human: Don't judge yourself harshly or expect yourself to be perfect. Instead, acknowledge your feelings, accept your flaws, and learn from your experiences.
- Treat yourself as you would treat a good friend: Imagine what you would say or do to comfort and encourage a friend who made a mistake or felt bad about themselves. Then, say or do the same thing to yourself. Use positive and supportive language, and avoid negative and critical self-talk.
- Give yourself permission to take care of yourself: You deserve to be happy and healthy, and you can't take care of others if you don't take care of yourself. Make time for yourself to do things that make you feel good, such as hobbies, exercise, meditation, or relaxation. Don't feel guilty or selfish for prioritizing your own needs and wellbeing.
- Forgive yourself and others: Don't hold on to grudges, regrets, or resentment. They only hurt you and prevent you from moving forward. Instead, let go of the past, and focus on the present and the future. Try to understand the situation from different perspectives, and see the positive aspects or lessons that you can gain from it. Express your feelings, apologize if needed, and seek closure.
You are enough
Remember, mom, you are doing the best you can, and you are enough!
You don't have to be perfect, and you don't have to do it all.
You just have to be yourself, and love yourself. And that's okay.