Are the terrible two's really that terrible?
I can’t tell you guys how many times I’ve heard “wait until she’s two” from the moment Luna started to walk.
Why is it that people love to torment new parents by mentioning every minute the “awful things” to come?
By the time Luna turned two, I was bracing myself for the little terror she would turn into.
But to be quite honest, yes it was challenging but jeez, those myths really make it out to be worse than it actually is!
No two kids are the same
I TRULY believe that no two children are the same so while one parent may have a tough time with their toddler, it doesn’t mean you will as well.
Or that it will last forever and ever, amen.
For me, tantrums shouldn’t be a common occurrence or an every day certainty.
I think it’s about doing your best to avoid triggers for a meltdown ie sticking to a nap schedule or bedtime routine, not too much sugar or snacks every single day, making sure they have a good eating habit, a nice outdoor routine, etc.
Are the terrible two's really that terrible?
I feel like toddlers don’t have pre-meditated meltdowns or tantrums, but they can’t really help themselves sometimes when they have such big feelings.
As the parents, I believe it's our job to help guide and navigate those feelings rather than dismiss them or make them suppress it.
If you grew up in a Caribbean household, I know you might’ve heard the good ole “You want something to cry for?” saying.
But that's something us parents now have to try to change and break the cycle.
Generational change
In doing so, we now need to teach OUR parents how to speak to their grandchildren properly. (For the ones who listen at least.)
Isn’t that crazy?
To be quite honest, sometimes when Luna has a meltdown I think to myself “Lord fadda when will this end?”
In that moment, I truly just want it to be over. But I have to stop and tell myself: “No Summer, break the cycle, remember how hard it was for you.”
Offering options
So, I stoop down, speak to her calmly, wipe her tears, validate her feelings, and get her to communicate what she wants.
At this point, I will then offer her other options or say you know what, we can do this after X,Y or Z.
I then guide her to the point where she can accept that decision and trust in me when I keep my word and she’s able to get what she wants after.
Navigating their feelings
There’s nothing I love more than hearing “I love you mummy” or “Thank you mummy” when she’s in her sweet moods, and I hold onto that always.
Terrible twos, threenager, whatever we call it, I believe is a HUGE myth and it all comes down to the guidance and love that we give our children.
Remember, your child is not being difficult, they are just having a difficult time and they need your help to navigate their feelings.
I believe we can all be better to break this generational cycle one day, one step at a time.
And that makes me wonder; are the terrible two's really that terrible?