As a first-time mom, I realized very early that there are many aspects of motherhood for which no amount of advice and advance training can really prepare you.
Now, nearly four months in, I have concluded that exposure to more realistic and inclusive information on the various challenges could not only help to alleviate them, but also help mothers to make more informed decisions.
It is in this regard that I feel the system failed me.
The battle to breastfeed
One of the biggest challenges I have encountered so far is breastfeeding, or rather not being able to breastfeed.
Although the advantages of breastfeeding have long been established, not enough emphasis is placed on exactly how difficult establishing a successful breastfeeding routine is for a new mother, especially when coupled with other inabilities such as those associated with a Caesarian Section (C-Section).
I remember being given a guidebook to infant and child feeding when I joined my public hospital’s antenatal clinic.
I studied it voraciously, like I was preparing for the exam of my life.
Unprepared
But what I didn’t know and what no one (including the guidebook) prepared me for, was the ways in which a C-Section birth could cause breastfeeding to be delayed compared to a vaginal birth, because the mother does not get the natural surge of oxytocin that helps with her milk supply.
It also didn’t explain how complicated the process of lactation is nor how genetic and biological factors such as obesity, thyroid disease, diabetes and Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) could adversely affect a mother’s ability to breastfeed.
The latter two diseases I had been diagnosed with during and before my pregnancy.
I read several other books and blogs during that time and questioned my doctors about the possible effects of my elective C-Section, but at no time was the effect on breastfeeding mentioned.
Postpartum disappointment
It seems that unless you know exactly what to ask, the information is not forthcoming.
I remember asking pre-op whether I would be able to breastfeed immediately after my procedure, and even through my post-op haze I remained committed to breastfeeding my firstborn.
But it was not to be.
In that critical period after birth when I expected to make regular skin-to-skin contact, nurse and receive practical support, I was reprimanded for even having my daughter in the bed and she was routinely cup fed formula.
Had I been sufficiently prepared and supported, I could have explored other possibilities like antenatal colostrum harvesting, which would have helped to ensure that my baby would start life without the need for formula supplementation.
But I was not given the option.
Misconceptions
Later on, I was harangued by the same staff to wean her off formula.
My baby not taking to nursing easily was another occurrence that I did not expect.
I had wrongfully assumed that because it was a natural function, we would have settled into it effortlessly.
Instead, we battled daily to either get a good latch or find a mutually comfortable feeding position which left us both tearful and exhausted, even with the intervention of the nurses and breastfeeding counselors.
Failure
This in itself was another source of tension, as there seemed to be a lack of cohesion between them with little regard to the effect on their patients.
Needless to say, the first five days at hospital after my daughter’s birth were filled with anxiety and confusion.
My milk still had not come in and I felt like an abject failure for not being able to feed her in the conventional way.
Low supply
The feeling only got worse as she still refused to nurse in the following weeks and I undertook a grueling routine of pumping breastmilk and reluctantly supplementing with formula as my supply was still low.
Looking back, I know that the medical staff and counselors were only doing their jobs but their militant, inflexible and utilitarian approach to breastfeeding support has left me traumatized.
I cannot understand how, at a pro-breastfeeding hospital, there seemed to be so many impediments to actual breastfeeding, like the increased rates of inductions and C-Sections, promotion of supplement, early cup and formula introduction, timed feeds, fearmongering and forceful positioning.
Cookie cutter approach
I know I am not alone in my struggle or in my opinion that this cookie cutter approach to care and specifically breastfeeding is not only outdated but counterproductive.
The way a woman gives birth impacts her breastfeeding journey and the nature of the care she receives should, in my unprofessional opinion, reflect the same.
There is certainly room for more informed dialogue between medical personnel and patients to ease some of the fear and misinformation surrounding breastfeeding and a mother’s ability to breastfeed.
The reality
This can also help to fill in the gaps and prevent women from being blamed for not meeting the conventional expectations of society when it comes to feeding their young babies.
Motherhood is after all not a “one size fits all” operation.