3 tips for co-parenting after a separation

Co-parenting after a separation or divorce can be extremely difficult.

But an amicable relationship - if at all possible - is extremely important for the wellbeing of your child.

Co-parenting basically means divorced or separated parents working together to raise their children, instead of operating as fully independent parties.

Typically, co-parents collaborate on the big, impactful decisions like visitation, school, and health, and operate independently on small, everyday ones.

That means it takes a lot of compromise and mutual respect to make it work, for the sake of your child.

Here are our top 3 tips for co-parenting after a separation.

3 tips for co-parenting after a separation

1. Don't communicate while angry: When co-parenting, it is essential to focus on the task at hand: parenting. The takeaway message is to put personal grievances aside for the wellbeing of your child. One way to help keep things fair and civil is to consider each parent’s skills and circumstances in creating a cooperative system.
2. Don't use children as the messenger: Many co-parents find that the same problems that plagued their romantic relationships cause conflicts in their co-parenting. When parents are amicable, this improves the child’s mental health and wellbeing.
3. Be consistent with plans: Children shouldn’t be privy to any co-parenting discussions. Plans should be made when both parents are calm, willing to compromise, and mentally prepared to have these conversations. If circumstances allow, children should not be a part of, or even in earshot of, these conversations. Let them keep their innocence!

For your kid's sake

Making shared decisions, interacting with each other at drop-offs, or just speaking to a person you’d rather pretend didn't exist can seem like impossible tasks.

But for the sake of your kids’ wellbeing, it is possible for you to overcome co-parenting challenges and develop an amicable working relationship with your ex.

With these tips, you can remain calm, stay consistent, and resolve conflicts to make joint custody work and help your kids to thrive.