Raising an only child has its own challenges, so here are 9 tips for raising an only child.
The School holidays are here, and my friend Sally needs to leave her only daughter, who is seven years old, with us.
Sally would have loved to have had other children, but the doctors say she only had one egg, resulting in her only child.
Her daughter has been with us for a while now, and I can't help but realize that she is a little reserved; she doesn’t know how to share with the rest of the kids in the house, and she cries at the slightest push from my toddler.
Raising an only child definitely has its own challenges, some of which may affect them in adulthood.
9 tips for raising an only child
Below are 9 tips you could apply to help raise an only child.
- Many play dates: I noticed my friend's daughter didn't know how to play with other kids; she preferred to stay alone with her toys. I have introduced play dates out in the field where there are other kids her age, and she is slowly opening up to them.
- Do not interfere: Research has found that only children are less likely to be able to solve conflicts when they are adults than kids with siblings; this is because the fights in families with siblings teach them to solve issues. If your only child has a conflict in the playground or at school, try not to interfere; let them learn to solve conflicts on their own.
- Value individualism: As they grow older, only children tend to seek validation and opportunities to fit in, which unfortunately may expose them to harmful peer pressure. To avoid this, encourage uniqueness and individualism from an early age. Let your only child value uniqueness and not a crowd.
- Avoid treating your child like an adult: I noticed that Sally’s daughter acted more like an adult; she did not want her clothes soiled when we were outside, and she would rush to wash her hands at the slightest dirt. A parent is mostly likely to embrace this but the truth is, your only child needs to be a child and needs to behave as one until their mind is fully developed.
- Avoid overindulging: It's normal to want to spoil your only child by giving them too much. But this may lead to your child not understanding boundaries as to how much is enough. Set limits on the number of gifts they will receive at Christmas or how many dollars they can have.
- Encourage doing chores in the house: With an only child, it is easy to clean up after them; after all, it is only work for one person. But you must ensure your only child learns responsibility by picking up their socks, arranging their room, or doing dishes.
- Do not entertain them constantly: As a parent to an only child, you want to be available at their slightest call. However, it is good to set reasonable expectations for your child. Let them understand that there will be times when you will be busy doing something else. I told my friend’s daughter that I would first do the laundry for 30 minutes and then play with them later for the next 30 minutes.
- Be the voice that builds them up: It is said that only children are often perfectionists, always striving for approval. But they can be their own worst critics. It is good to listen to your child and be the voice that builds them back up with certainty.
- Be realistic in your expectations. While it may be tempting to wrap all your dreams and hopes around your only child, assessing your child based on their abilities may help you avoid putting unnecessary pressure on them.
Final thoughts
There are so many misconceptions about the struggles of an only child, but the truth is they aren't as lonely as many may think.
Do not always accept what other people may think about your only child.